


Repent

by reyess



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Brainwashing, Death, Gen, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Kidnapping, Needles, Psychological Torture, Talon Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Torture, Unethical Experimentation, dont read it if ur easily triggered i dont wanna hurt yall, dont read it if ur sensitive as shit, its just like really fucked up guys, jack isnt really actually in the story but hes heavily mentioned, lots of fucked up medical shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:47:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reyess/pseuds/reyess
Summary: Blackwatch Commander Reyes.Even the title made him sick.





	Repent

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to gabe spent a whole ass day on this  
> i hope u like it  
> i dont see enough fics with like. gabe to reaper  
> so i made one  
> yay its dark  
> enjoy  
> it got a little fucked up from translation from google docs to ao3 so i apologized for any errors

_Blackwatch Commander Reyes._

  
  
Even the title made him _sick._

  
  
_Strike Commander Morrison._

  
  
The name filled him with _envy._

  
  
He wasn't one to succumb to jealousy, but the years of being demeaned for his choices were getting to him.

  
  
Gabriel loves Jack. He loves his husband with his whole heart, but he can't stop yelling. His temper has grown short and he's blind with envy.

  
  
"I'm _DONE!_ " Jack had screamed, "I'm so sick and fucking tired of you beating me down for _everything._ I'm so done with you hurting me for success. You're selfish! _I hate you!"_

  
  
Gabriel had wanted to say something back, so desperately. To reach out and wipe his sol's tears away, to apologize for everything.

 

Then _it_ happened.

  
  
A heavy wave of heat and a rumble, the two consumed in the jaws of fire and smoke. Gabriel lurched and flew through the wall, Jack went god knows where. It wasn't until the smoke had cleared that Gabe could reopen his eyes. The only things he could hear was a ringing and his heartbeat. Everything hurt.

  
  
"...Gabe!" a voice cut through the silence and the ringing and the flames, Jack's voice. It had him groaning, shoving away debris. It took a moment before he felt a stab of pain, right in his stomach. It was some metal pole, he was unsure of where. _"GABE!"_ the voice cried again. He couldn't answer, a squeak escaping him.

  
  
He then saw a stumbling figure, wearing blue and white. Jack. Gabriel had only seconds to register what was happening before two strong hands grabbed him. _Agents, thank god,_ he had assumed, but Jacks cries growing frantic made him think that something was wrong. He was pulled off the pole and dragged away. Gabriel wouldn't fight back anyway, he was too weak.

  
  
He didn't fight as he was put in a helicopter.

  
  
He didn't fight as he was chained to the walls.

  
He didn't fight as a needle was pressed to his neck.

  
He didn't fight as his vision faded.

 

❖  
  
Gabriel woke to bright lights and a cold table, restraints around his neck and ankles and wrists. It hurt, small spikes pressed against his skin from inside the shackles. It kept him still, but he didn't complain.

  
He felt hands, cold hands, adventuring his skin. _When did he take his clothes off?_ They pressed tubes into his chest and arms. He was too groggy to question anything, a gargle leaving him. It went unnoticed.

  
  
Soon the touches were gone, and he could focus on finding out where he was. He gasped as he craned his head up, the spikes digging into flesh. Gabe didn't get a very good look at the place, but it looked like a cell of sorts. The door was metal and heavy, the walls a pale and depressing gray. He was stuck to some sort of hover table, the tubes hooked up to some canister underneath him. All he could do was wait. There was a one-way window beside him, showcasing his naked body in the mirror, weak and beaten and burnt.

  
Then the tubes jerked, a clear liquid flowing through them. It took a second to register, Gabriel suddenly filled with searing pain. He'd never felt anything like this, never felt anything this bad. All he could do was gasp. A scream escaped him, and he was stiff as stone, the pain rising and falling like waves. It was akin to nothing he'd ever felt before.

  
Gabriel switched between terrified gasps and shrieks, his vision trailing. All he could focus on was the firey pain filling each inch of his body, tears streaming down his face. He had no idea exactly where he was, but he couldn't focus on anything. The pain soon died down, sobs escaping him. _Why the hell was he here? What did he do?_

  
He couldn't figure it out.

  
Gabriel was just left sobbing, every part of him oddly numb. Something was horrifically wrong. The spikes inside his shackles suddenly retracted, the door sliding open. He couldn't move, mouth agape and drooling. He bet he looked disgusting.

  
"Gabriel Reyes," a woman droned, a nail gliding up his leg, stomach, chest, stopping at this neck. He was faced with... he didn't know. He couldn't think. His mind was still reeling with pain and questions. "Do you know who I am?"

 

All Gabe did in response was make an odd noise, akin to a mumble or a squeak. It was all he could form. He was so filled with shock, so filled with confusion, so filled with questions. Why was he here? What did he do? His thought process was cut off by a hand grabbing his jaw, nails digging into his skin.

 

“ _Idiot._ **_Answer me when I speak to you,_ ** _”_ she hissed, voice like venom. Gabriel flinched back at her tone, gasping. He made another gargle, earning a harsh slap, her nails raking across his skin. God, he was a mess. Gabe turned his head and coughed up blood.

 

She tsked and stepped back, staring him over like he was some kind of science experiment. Every part of him remained weak, especially from the shit that was pumped into him. He was exhausted. Maybe he could just close his eyes for now.

 

He was met with darkness.

 

❖

 

He opened his eyes, still so fucking groggy, still so disoriented. _What a fucked up nightmare,_ he thought.

 

“J-jack,” he croaked out, eyes shutting again. He turned to his side, expecting to bring Jack closer, feeling the warmth of his body. He was met with cold air. _“Jackie?”_  
  
And then his senses returned; the ice of the floor beneath him, the steady burn of his uncared injuries, the soreness from the serum, the welts on his face. It was dark, so dark, he couldn’t see a thing. So, Gabriel didn’t move. He remained where he was on the ground.

 

“Jack?” he called again, desperate for an answer, “J-jack, please _a-answer me._ Jackie.” His voice was hoarse from screaming and disuse all at once. He pulled himself up in the slightest, hauling his dead weight across the ground. He could use his legs, but they were completely numb right now. He’d rather not stand either. “B-babe, I’m here, Jack.”

 

Gabe collapsed, a quiet sob escaping him. He was so damn hungry, so damn thirsty, so damn _lonely._

 

Maybe he’d die in his sleep.

 

❖

 

He awoke once more, this time not too dark, but to blinding light. A black robe was placed around his shoulders, people bustling around him. Maybe he was free? Maybe this was Jack? _Was he found?_ His suspicions were denied when he was grabbed by the hair, a shackle fastening itself around his neck. Gabriel couldn’t focus on the man, blinking disorientation from his eyes. It was no one he recognized, but something that stood out was the pin on his lab coat, _Talon._

 

All the puzzle pieces fell into place.

 

Gabriel Reyes was kidnapped by Talon.

 

 _Now_ he fought.

 

Despite being weak, adrenaline fueled him. Gabe grabbed the chain and hoisted himself up, kicking the man away with surprising strength. He swung forwards, grabbing one of the men and dragging him back up against the wall where his shackle was connected to. He pressed a hand to his neck. He started a commotion.

 

“GET NEAR ME AND HE _DIES!”_ he shouted, which didn't phase the people. One woman pulled a gun from her pocket and fired, nailing Gabriel right in the stomach. Most of them just watched, two taking action. They grabbed Gabriel even as he snapped the man's neck. He thrashed and fought back, but he was too weak for this. A sob escaped him.

 

“ _LET ME GO HOME!_ Let me see Jack, let me see my family, _let me go!”_ he shrieked, earning a few barks of laughter. The two girls in lab coats held him down, before releasing him a minute later. The scientists filed out, chatting with each other. He picked out a few words, _“Did you see how feisty it was? It’ll make a perfect subject.”_ and _“I bet it’ll be strong once she gives it the enhancements.”_ and _“I wonder what the doc is naming it?”_  
  
The words made him sick. _It?_ He was a human being. Gabriel grabbed the cloak off the ground with shaking hands, covering himself up. He felt safe in it, warm. It smelled faintly of chemicals and low-quality soap, but he snuggled into it regardless. He slumped against the wall, the final scientists making their way out. The door slid shut again, and the lights went out.

 

This time, he couldn’t sleep. He spent the time crying instead, pleading to himself to see his lover again.

 

Gabriel wishes he had the chance to apologize for everything he’d done.

 

❖

 

The next time the lights flickered on it had been days, months, years. Time blurred together. He’d been fed a few times, the door sliding open that illuminated a man with a plate of food and a cup of water. It wasn’t good enough, just some ramen noodles, but it kept him alive.

 

Gabriel once denied the food, choosing to starve instead. Maybe he’d die. He was met with the man grabbing his hair and forcing the food down his throat with his fingers. Even when he protested that he would eat it, he never stopped.

 

Every now and then the vents would whirr alive, pumping some gas into the room. It always smelled like steak for some odd reason and kept him exhausted and weak. He never left the confines of the cloak he was wearing, always clutching it closer when someone walked in. It was the only piece of fabric that made sure he wasn’t naked.

 

Soon enough, the lights flashed on again, almost blinding Gabriel. He rubbed his eyes and squinted against the white, vision trailing as the door slid open. The same woman from before walked in, but this time she was clear.

 

Moira O’Deorain.

 

_Oh no._

 

He stared up at her, small. His shackle had long been removed, permitting him to fit himself snugly in the corner of the room. The once strong and proud commander was now huddled in a corner for some sense of his own body heat, clinging to a piece of black fabric like a lifeline.

 

It was sad.

 

She just crouched over, face blank.

 

“Do you know who I am, Commander Reyes?” she hummed out, voice like nails on a chalkboard to him.

 

“M-Moira,” he whispered, “Moira,” louder.

 

“Took you long enough. Do you know why you’re here?” she questioned. If he just shook his head, he’d probably be kicked.

 

“No.”  
  
She rose her eyebrows, a chuckle escaping her. It wasn’t humoured, more cold and mocking. Moira traced a cold finger down his jaw, neck, chest, one of the fingers on her disgusting purple hand he never touched, the one that made him shudder whenever she would jokingly wiggle her fingers in his face.

 

“You’re here because I brought you here. By popular demand in our… lab ring, for lack of better words, you were chosen. A strong super soldier with a great stature, with the right enhancements, the perfect _superweapon_. Would you not agree?”

 

Gabriel went slack-jawed at her words.

 

 _“Weapon?”_ he questioned, “You’re sick! _Disgusting!_ Why the _hell_ would you pull me from my life, from my husband, for your own _selfish needs?!”_

 

She didn’t make a further comment, sighing and shaking her head. Suddenly, weakness overtook him, that same soul-sucking beam Moira used on others lapping at his skin. He gasped, back arching into the beam as if it would take it back. When she gave it up, he was shaking and pale, black spots scattering his sight.

 

 _“Learn your place,_ or I’ll force you to.” And with that, she was gone.

 

Gabriel passed out once more.

 

❖  
  
Gabe thought the days leading up to recent were torture, but in reality, he hadn’t even felt a fraction of what happened afterwards.

 

Moira sent in someone every day with a whip, who was meant to put Gabriel in his place, as she said. He always cowered when the man stormed inside, holding the iron whip with a white-knuckle grip.

 

“Disgusting! Waste of space! Disobedient little prick! Nothing but a stupid little weapon, and you’re not even good at that!” He’d always scream between harsh lashes, which Gabriel answered with shrill screams. His lovely cloak was stained with blood but remained his own. Gabriel would answer to requests to change it with screaming and insults. It was his only thing he could call safe. It was _his._ It was childish, but it was really the only thing that wasn’t treating him with hatred right now.

 

It’d been a long while since Moira had checked up on him, which filled him with dread. What the hell was she planning to do? What was she going to turn him into?

 

Whatever she was doing, he was tipping.

 

Everything hurt, so bad. Everything was dark and time was just a blur for him. He tried to just not eat, but the man would always return and force them down his throat yet again.

 

Soon enough, though, the man with the whip didn’t come back with a whip, but with a needle. It was filled with some purple goo, which looked like an anti-biotic serum. It was very experimental from his knowledge, usually leading to people _melting_. It wasn’t a thought he wanted to deal with, but death was accepted if it did come.

 

He felt it press into his neck, a burn growing underneath his skin. This wasn’t anti-biotic serum. It never burned, more of a dull throb and numbness. This though, whatever it was, burned like a fire lapping at his insides. He let out a small whimper, breathing picking up. Suddenly, he was out like a light, darkness flooding his mind.

 

It seemed that he only knew darkness as of recent, and it was a friend to him.

 

❖

 

Gabriel awoke to his room, colder than normal. Moira was standing above him, holding his cloak. He took a long minute to focus on her, before jolting up (to his knees, he was too weak to stand) and reaching for it like a child. She just held it away from him, earning an incoherent scream of protest, some garbled plea.

 

“Ah, ah, ah. Don’t want it getting damaged. We’ll bring it back, it needs a good cleaning anyway,” she hummed, which just made Gabriel more distressed. He finally got some good words out.

 

 _“GIVE IT BACK TO ME!_ GIVE IT BACK TO ME YOU _USELESS WHORE!”_ he shrieked, less intimidating and more terrified. He let out a sob when she just stared.

 

“We’re going to kill you, Gabriel. I hope you’re excited.” He let out a shaky whimper, collapsing at her feet like some dog. Gabriel was so desperate for it back, so desperate for his only safe thing back. He was nothing without it.

 

He didn’t actually know how to feel about death now that it was genuinely on the plate, and genuinely going to happen. Gabriel wanted to pass peacefully, wrapped in his small blanket.

 

But something about this was off.

 

If they were talking about him being a weapon, why would they just kill him like that?

 

The thought made his stomach churn.

 

When Moira finally left, he pressed up against the door, screaming for his cloak back. He was really a child, wasn’t he? At this point he didn’t care, he just wanted to be free again. Gabriel was going insane, being trapped in this tiny room for who knows how long?

 

“ _PLEASE!_ Please god _have mercy on me,_ please let me go! _LET ME SEE JACK AGAIN!_ Let me see Overwatch again, please!” he screamed, pausing as a holoscreen opened beside his head.

 

_“Zurich base explodes, 43 dead, 2 missing, 112 injured. Strike Commander Jack Morrison and Blackwatch Commander Gabriel Reyes are presumed dead, though no bodies have been found.”_

 

His entire world crashed and burned at those words, the holoscreen closing. A tube slid into the room, ice cold water suddenly flooding out of it. He collapsed to the ground and shut his eyes, letting the freezing sea overtake him.

 

It’s not like it mattered anyway.

 

❖

 

Gabriel was in a black void. Everything smelled of ash. Nothing hurt. He felt at peace.

 

In front of him was a man with golden hair and bright blue eyes. That was all he could register, all he could actually put in his head. He was on his knees in front of this golden man, who crouched down.

 

A warm hand brushed tears he didn’t even notice he had on his face away, and he could swear he was smiling ever so softly. He wanted to reach out, but he couldn’t move. This man felt like home. He never wanted to leave.

 

Gabe wanted to stay in this endless void for the rest of his life, with the golden glow that smelled of farm and sweet corn, with the gentle and warm hand pressed to his cheek.

 

And then he realized he was cold, so so cold. It made him cry more. He couldn’t move closer to this boy. He oh so wished to.

 

Gabriel watched him get up, and all he could do was watch as the boy vanished.

 

His eyes flew open.

 

No, _no, no, no,_ he wasn’t alive, he couldn’t be alive.

 

Hands were pressed to his sides, holding down tubes pumping purple liquid into him. Gabriel couldn’t move still, pinned down to a table much heavier than the few shackles from before. His body was mostly encased in a plastic mould, and he was still so, so, so cold. A gasp escaped him, and he felt drowsy. He couldn’t breathe, _he couldn't breathe._ Gabriel gasped, lungs not working as they should. It was almost like there was no oxygen in the room. He struggled and struggled, entire body tense as the chemicals worked their job and he tried to just breathe.

 

His gasps soon died down, and he stopped breathing altogether. Shockingly, it didn’t hurt at all. It felt normal.

 

Any hunger or thirst he had was gone. It was disorienting for him, being completely void of human needs. Maybe he was dead? He felt dead.

 

Within an hour or so he was released from the encasing, tubes leaving him. He was pushed off the table and onto the cold floor, surprisingly he felt nothing. Well, nothing bad anyway. Everything felt so numb and so cold and he just wanted to sleep. Gabriel felt something warm around his shoulders, his cloak. _Oh thank god,_ he thought. He ended up returning to the corner he was always in, curled in on himself. He stared at his hands, pale and clammy and weak. Everything about him was pale and sunken in.

 

And with that realization, he collapsed. It was the most terrifying thing for him, suddenly turning into… something. He had no form, no discernable arms or legs or head or anything, just a ball of twisting smoke and ash. Gabriel tried to move, jerking rather violently into the air. It took him a long while to get used to it, and soon he was lethargically making laps around the cell, testing how high he could hover and how much he could flatten to the ground. It was odd, being a ball of literal living smoke. There was no way he could describe this feeling.

 

When Gabriel finally settled into a corner, on top of his cloak, he didn’t exactly know what to do with himself. He jerked a few times, before pausing.

 

Maybe re-imagining himself as himself could work. And it did, thankfully.

 

And there he was, curled up once more in the corner of his room, hidden under the blanket.

 

Safe.

 

Or he thought, anyway.

 

❖

 

Gabriel didn’t need to eat, he didn’t need sleep, he didn’t need to breathe, he didn’t need to drink, blink, move, salivate, pump blood, nothing. He was dead.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Over time he grew so, so weak. So, so tired. He was barely able to walk. He told Moira.

 

“M-miss,” he choked out, voice strained. He was still learning how to properly talk.

 

“What is it, 24?” a voice rang over the intercom in his room. Moira.

 

“I’m so weak, I can’t move.” He fell against the wall after trying to stand. The door slid open a few seconds later, a woman storming in. She held a needle.

 

“This’ll help the exhaustion. You have to consume something deemed ‘souls’, which is an amalgamation of emotions and thoughts, not actual souls. For now, we have to administer an artificial replacement.” She pressed it right underneath his chin, and Gabriel found himself gagging and gargling and spitting up the clear liquid. It tasted very bitter and had the consistency of water. He probably looked ridiculous, sputtering on this clear serum like he was ill.

 

But, it sated him fine when he got the remains out of his mouth.

 

Though he always remained tired.

 

❖

 

He was swiftly awoken from some sort of sleep like state to a massive electric shock, which made him scream. A large screen was in front of him, and he was tied down to a chair. It was like in the movies, except he could blink. There was Moira beside him, holding a shock device.

 

The screen flickered alive, a picture of Jack appearing.

 

He almost started sobbing at his golden smile, the warmth it gave off even in the picture. He missed it, he missed _him._

 

“Who is this?” she said, leaning forward.

 

“J-jack,” he mumbled, eyes fixed on the screen.

 

“Tell me about him.”

 

“He’s so beautiful. He’s the kindest man in the world who doesn’t deserve my shit. He deserves only the best, h-” he screamed as he was cut off by a shock, thrashing in the seat.

 

“I want you to repeat after me: _Jack Morrison is a terrible human being, he deserves the worst, I’m glad he died in Zurich._ Repeat it over and over. Any slip-ups and I’ll shock you. I’ll make you do this until I’m satisfied.”

 

So he did. He repeated it like a mantra to himself for hours. His voice never ran dry, his mouth soon working by itself. Every pause he made was a pause where Moira shocked him, so he never stopped. Moira soon left him there, tied to the chair, supervised by some random scientist.

 

And there Gabriel was, repeating the same thing over and over to himself, tears rolling down his face.

 

Something inside him believed it.

 

❖

 

Over the long months he was trapped in that room, after the so-called experiment, he had to visit that damn screen more than once. All the people he loved, were ingrained as bad in his head.

 

Lena, a selfish no good prick who only does things for herself, and abuses her accelerator for attention.

 

Reinhardt, a loud nuisance with no care for anyone else, only cares about honour and would leave anyone at the drop of a hat for his own wellbeing.

 

Angela, a sick doll who pretends to be goody two shoes, when all that goes on behind her curtains are hell.

 

Jesse, a no good Deadlock dog, a murderer, a criminal, steals for himself and kills others if he wants a pretty penny.

 

Genji, a failed project who never brought good to the organization, unthankful, selfish, soul-sucking, manipulative.

 

Torbjorn, a little apathetic dwarf who only thinks about whatever new creation he has planned out, would sell you out if it meant getting some sort of weapon.

 

Ana, a sad, lonely old woman who faked her death for fun, only cares for her daughter and nothing else and steals for her own gain.

 

And Jack. Jack was the worst. The disgusting betrayer who let him be kidnapped, who never cared, who would sacrifice Gabe in a heartbeat. The one who lured him in with promises of love and gave him nothing in return when Gabriel finally opened up. He was _nothing._

 

Those opinions had long been ironed into his brain, overriding the positive he had with them. This was brainwashing, and he knew it, but he couldn’t fight back. He was too tired to fight back.

 

Moira was winning, he knew this clear and well, and yet he couldn’t stop it. To him, Moira was his master. He’d refer to her as Miss, O’Deorain, Ma’am, Doctor, whatever title was some alternative to her first name. He would be beaten for that.

 

Gabriel spent most of his time huddled in his corner, rocking back and forth, chanting whatever Moira wanted him to over and over and over, snuggled close in his cloak.

 

It was the one thing she was nice about, the one thing she let him have to make him happy. Moira said it was because she didn’t want her subjects completely unhappy, so she would never tear him out of it since usually, he obeyed anyway.

 

Gabriel was so tired all the time, so weak, so dead. He hated this. He wanted to go home so bad, but he wasn’t even sure where home was at this point. His long hair was just another sign of how stuck he was, how he’d never leave, how hopeless he was.

 

He was curled up as usual when the door slid open, a lanky girl standing in the doorframe. She had a half-shaven cut, hair swooped over one side with purple tips. She had purple eyeshadow and lipstick and eyes, making her stand out.

 

“Morning, _amigo,_ ” she purred, voice similar to a teenager. Her whole setup was very _teen scene,_ which was odd considering she looked twenty. “I wanted to take you somewhere before you become like, completely dead. I’m gonna set something up there.”

 

Gabriel could do nothing but obey, standing. He hid his everything with the cloak he was wearing, which wrapped around him like a veil.

 

She led him down the winding halls of the lab and into a locker room, tossing him a thick gray hoodie and some baggy pants. Something warm.

 

“I expected you to be cold, seeing as you have nothing to wear.” He stared at her blankly after catching them, expectantly. “Put them on, _idiota._ We don’t have all day.”

 

Gabriel shoved them on, relishing in the warmth they brought him. He tied the cloak around his neck, its hood snug over his head and the rest flowing behind him. Gabe felt even safer.

 

“Oh, by the way, my name is Sombra. I heard your name was Gabriel?” Gabriel nodded slowly, something told him that wasn’t his name, but he ignored it, “Not much of a talker, hm? Moira musta’ done her worst on you.” Another nod. _“Lo siento.”_

 

The two walked in silence up stairs and through white halls that smelled of chemicals. Around him were other screams, other experiments itching to be released, to die, something like that. Talon was building an _army._ He had to stop that. He didn’t know if he could.

 

They soon reached a heavy door, Sombra pushing it open. He was hit with a blast of cold air, fresh air. He breathed it in, despite instantly wheezing and shuddering and sighing afterwards. The gasp probably sounded akin to a zombie, a wheeze.

 

Gabriel stared out onto the landscape. Snowy slopes as far as he could see. God, there really was no way out, was there? Sombra sighed, enjoying the mountains. Gabriel only felt more hopeless, falling to his knees. He could barely stand hugging himself.

 

“Whoa, whoa, Gabrielito, you okay?” she crouched beside him. He wasn’t used to the kindness. It only made him sob. “Just breathe, it’s okay. We came out here to relax. I have to implant a few devices into you, but it won’t take long, okay?”

 

Gabriel nodded, hands fisted into his hair, pulling desperately. He sobbed, curling in on himself.

 

Blackwatch Commander Reyes was now receded to Subject 24. It was a sickening sight.

 

Sombra sighed, soon enough Gabriel had calmed down. She suddenly tilted his head back and pulled out a knife, grabbing his hair and cutting it short. He watched dark brown locks fall to the ground and fly off in the whispering wind, but never fought. Gabriel wanted to thank her, but he didn’t know how. His hair was short and curly, not quite as short as before, but short enough. It made him feel lighter.

 

“I need to get to your neck, is that okay?” Gabriel didn’t respond, only craning his head forward, “Alrighty.”

 

His eyes widened as a knife dug into the skin, tearing a hole where she could slip in a small device. It felt odd, but his skin quickly healed around it. Gabriel tested his neck, he barely noticed the thing after a minute. She clipped two panels to his wrists and two to his ankles, and some sort of miniature remote of sorts above where she had cut open his neck.

 

“The slot is for your nail, it’s a manual reset if you don’t want to wait for malfunctions. The buttons increase or decrease the dose, but there is an assigned minimum and maximum. They’ll let you out soon, Gabriel. It’ll be okay.”

 

He wanted to believe that, but he couldn’t.

❖

 

Gabriel was so tired, so so tired. People had been working at the device for hours, screwing things in and flicking it on and off. He was so disoriented. He missed sleeping through procedures.

 

It seemed like the world had turned its back on him.

 

Suddenly, most of them left, and it was turned on. Gabriel felt a bit panicked at first, but for some reason, it melted away. Everything slowly melted away like ice cream on a hot day, dripping through his fingers and feet. He was calm, ish.

 

He couldn’t feel… _anything._ Nothing at all. It would’ve worried him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He didn’t care anymore. What’s the point of caring if you’re just going to be hurt? He’d hurt everyone else before they could hurt him again.

 

Gabriel stared at the wall, face blank. Was he really that broken? Was he really so broken that he would spend his time staring at the same time on the wall while everything passed by? He didn’t care.

 

He let the scientists mess with his skin, jerk the devices around, fill him with wiring. Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to care about the pain or the fact that he was basically a cyborg. Everything was numb, and he welcomed it. It was a much better alternative to the constant pain he had felt every single second.

 

Gabriel didn’t care as they tore him apart and put him back together again.

 

Gabriel didn’t care as he stared down the hole of a needle.

 

Gabriel didn’t care as they pulled out his eyes one by one and replaced them with cybernetic eyes.

 

He didn’t care as they filled with smoke, and suddenly everything was black and foggy.

 

Why should he anyway? He’d just end up hurting again if he did care. If he placed his trust in anyone again, they’d just betray him and hurt him. He could only trust O’Deorain. She kept him safe, kept him in her lab. He didn’t deserve it, but she did it anyway. He was so tired. He was so _fucking_ tired, but he couldn’t care anymore. Why should he?

 

Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. He was spinning down a black hole to rock bottom and he was so desperately clawing his way back up. He was so damn empty all the time and so damn hopeless and god, god it hurt. He’d switch between pure agony and numbness.

 

It made him sick.

 

❖

 

Gabriel never thought it could get any worse. This was it. He was done.

 

Oh how fucking _wrong_ he was.

 

He was huddled in his safe corner when the door suddenly slid open, an exhausting scientist walking in. The man stared at him for a long moment, before gesturing him to come over. Gabriel hesitated, before shrinking out of his blanket and standing, walking over. He still wore his hoodie and pants that Sombra had given him. It kept him warm in this ice room of chemicals and hurt.

 

His world was sent spinning deeper into madness when he was forced to his knees.

 

Gabriel had to obey.

 

It wasn’t like he cared about himself anymore anyways.

 

He had to be obedient for Moira. Maybe he would mean something if he was. Maybe he could be happy. Whenever he obeyed, Moira would reward him.

 

A little extra ‘food’, a little less hurt, some time outside his room, a kill, some sleep, a day off, some addition to his room.

 

He relied on those small things to keep him somewhat sane. They made him _happy._

 

❖

 

Gabriel had a somewhat furnished room, a comfortable bed placed in his safe corner, a cabinet with two different suits in it; his day to day hoodie and sweatpants (which he was almost always wearing) and a yet to be used outfit for killing. It was custom made to hide his identity, the scars that had been burned onto him over the years, stuff like that. He also had a small holopad, used to contact the scientists, talk to Sombra and read the news.

 

Over the time he was stuck in that damn lab, he’d reached a point of absolute. He couldn’t get any worse. Between getting every single torture trick in the book and knowing that Jack had abandoned him to live another life as Soldier 76, it drove him numb with insanity.

 

He just wanted to go home, but he couldn’t.

 

And then Gabriel was finally deployed.

 

“Your new name is Reaper. Gabriel is dead. You are not Gabriel, you are Reaper,” a man had said, adjusting the panel behind his now long hair. He packed what he had and left on a dropship, wearing his ‘Reaper outfit’ as the man referred to it as previously.

 

He watched the lab he’d been stuck in vanish in the slopes, it was so much bigger than he’d expected. It was a 5 story tall laboratory, built into the side of a mountain. There were probably more stories inside the rock, but he didn’t want to go back and check it out.

 

It took hours before they even got out of the mountains, flying south over cities. He had no idea where he was, but he was so happy to be out here rather than in the lab. Ga- _Reaper_ stared blankly out the window, relishing in the wind that hit him heavy through the window he’d opened. They weren’t too high up, so it didn’t matter much anyways.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it was until they landed.

 

“Reaper, get your shit, we’re here!” a man shouted, the dropship door opening. Reaper shot to his feet almost instantly, heading to the door and awaiting command.

 

“Your job over the next few years is to find and kill all Overwatch agents and affiliates. Do _not_ return back to us until you have that down pat, got it? Until then you are free to roam. You have as long as you need, but don’t think you can just fall into hiding.” The man shoved guns into his chest. Hellfire Shotguns, as Moira called them. They were experimental tech that worked with his own abilities, custom made for him. Reaper nodded swiftly, stepping out into the city. It was odd, finally being out in the open. He didn’t care much about how he looked, wearing some dark costume with an owl skull mask.

 

Reaper strolled down the street, staring at the few passing people. It was late at night, so he didn't expect to see many people. He was stopped by a group of teenagers, who grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him back.

 

“Hey! Look at this _freak,_ dressed in costume like a lunatic!” a girl shouted, laughing. Reaper didn’t say a word, cocking his head like an animal. “What? Cat got your tongue, idiot?”

 

He sighed, cocking one of his shotguns and bringing it instantly to her head. Her face fell, the others screaming as he fired. Blood and gore splattered everywhere, the teenager falling to the ground. Everyone scattered, sprinting every which way to get out. He didn’t care about the scene. Nobody could catch him anyways.

 

 _Blackwatch Commander Reyes_.

 

The name made him _sick._

 

_Reaper._

  
The name made him _sicker._

**Author's Note:**

> this is my pain and suffering all complied into one story


End file.
